Today's Track : Motorcyle - As The Rush Comes
travelling somewhere, could be anywhere. there's a coldness in the air but I don't care.
i'm not looking for an interpretation or a meaning to my dreams. i'm looking for the ending; the interrupted second half of that lucid story. don't wake me up til it's over. don't call me til I'm done.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Today's Track : Counting Crows - Around Here
I step out the front door like a ghost into a fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you, the angels get a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
...
Shaky reporting from underneath a coin on the streets of Chinatown Toronto. It's fricken cold, dark and smells like fish.
...
In other news an American gynaecologist is being sued by one of his patients for bad bedside manner. Apparently he greeted her with, "So, how's the taco?" She responded with, "I beg your pardon?" Which he replied, "HOW'S...THE...TA-CO?"
I guess taco isn't a very politically correct term for vagina. Bearded clam is probably not very pc either.
...
Shaky the procrastinator extraordinaire is headed back to the books.
I step out the front door like a ghost into a fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you, the angels get a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
...
Shaky reporting from underneath a coin on the streets of Chinatown Toronto. It's fricken cold, dark and smells like fish.
...
In other news an American gynaecologist is being sued by one of his patients for bad bedside manner. Apparently he greeted her with, "So, how's the taco?" She responded with, "I beg your pardon?" Which he replied, "HOW'S...THE...TA-CO?"
I guess taco isn't a very politically correct term for vagina. Bearded clam is probably not very pc either.
...
Shaky the procrastinator extraordinaire is headed back to the books.
Monday, January 19, 2004
Today's Track : REM - Man On The Moon
I just found out what a Brazilian wax is. My company operates worldwide, including Brazil. I'm in the process of filling out my application to relocate to Brazil as we speak.
...
Ever since I came up with Khiemotherapy, Wanda can't seem to get enough. I hope she doesn't go bald with too much exposure.
...
People in this office are getting separated at an alarming rate. Offsetting this is the rate at which my friends are tying the knot. For the guy who bought his gf a 1.7 carat diamond ring -- STOP SETTING THE DAMN BAR SO HIGH FOR THE REST OF US ASSHOLE.
...
Birthday season is approaching and in a few months I'll be officially 1 year closer to retirement, being erectile dysfunctional and death. Go shorty (no pun intended) it's your birthday!
...
A new movie is soon to be released about a man in his mid-20s who's held hostage by his divorced parents and a wallet-washing grandmother. I believe the title to this movie is Khiem's Life. Stay tuned.
I just found out what a Brazilian wax is. My company operates worldwide, including Brazil. I'm in the process of filling out my application to relocate to Brazil as we speak.
...
Ever since I came up with Khiemotherapy, Wanda can't seem to get enough. I hope she doesn't go bald with too much exposure.
...
People in this office are getting separated at an alarming rate. Offsetting this is the rate at which my friends are tying the knot. For the guy who bought his gf a 1.7 carat diamond ring -- STOP SETTING THE DAMN BAR SO HIGH FOR THE REST OF US ASSHOLE.
...
Birthday season is approaching and in a few months I'll be officially 1 year closer to retirement, being erectile dysfunctional and death. Go shorty (no pun intended) it's your birthday!
...
A new movie is soon to be released about a man in his mid-20s who's held hostage by his divorced parents and a wallet-washing grandmother. I believe the title to this movie is Khiem's Life. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Today’s Track : Tori Amos – If You Go Away
Wanda and I are going to see Big Fish tonight. Seems like one of those offbeat movies that you’d never see in the theatre but would end up buying the dvd after you rented it. Sort of like Amelie. From the commercials it looks as though Tim Burton did a wonderful job with the cinematography. And from what I hear the story is quite enchanting as well. It’ll definitely be a change from the last movie I saw in the theatres – Lord of the Rings.
The snow outside my office is falling like buckets of confetti from the sky. Another cold advisory for Toronto. I hope no one has to be outside today. For the homeless people, I hope they make use of the extra shelter areas being opened up around the city to accommodate them. It’s cold and lonely enough in the world for them without the bad whether. Let’s pray for some warmer weather next week.
Well the work day is over and I’m the last one in the office. I guess it’s time that I pack up and go pick up Wanda.
Adios for now.
Wanda and I are going to see Big Fish tonight. Seems like one of those offbeat movies that you’d never see in the theatre but would end up buying the dvd after you rented it. Sort of like Amelie. From the commercials it looks as though Tim Burton did a wonderful job with the cinematography. And from what I hear the story is quite enchanting as well. It’ll definitely be a change from the last movie I saw in the theatres – Lord of the Rings.
The snow outside my office is falling like buckets of confetti from the sky. Another cold advisory for Toronto. I hope no one has to be outside today. For the homeless people, I hope they make use of the extra shelter areas being opened up around the city to accommodate them. It’s cold and lonely enough in the world for them without the bad whether. Let’s pray for some warmer weather next week.
Well the work day is over and I’m the last one in the office. I guess it’s time that I pack up and go pick up Wanda.
Adios for now.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Today's Track : Telepopmusik - Breathe
I brought you something close to me...there's nothing to do but believe.
Three of my friends are getting married this year. What a scary thought that is. It’s the thought that we’re all reaching the point in our life that we need to find a permanent partner; that we need to combine and share resources, make large purchases, plan out a family and share a TV. It seems to me as though this may be one of the scariest phases of life. I mean really – share a TV? Goodbye hockey night in Canada. Hello Gilmour Girls. Goodbye Spike TV. Hello the WB.
And in the wake of a major life-altering event like marriage I wonder if I’ll be caught staring like deer in headlights. For 27 years of my life I’ve just been prancing around in the forest grazing and I know one of these days I’ll be nibbling on a twig a little too close to the highway and I’ll look up and see two bright xenon lights burning my beady little eyes. I’m hoping that when the time comes it’ll be quick and painless.
Knowing my luck I’ll be ran over by a 16-wheeler of a woman and dragged behind her truck for a few kilometers. (Of course I’m just being facetious Wanda!)
Some people call me a hopeless romantic.
...
So I’m sitting here laying out the receipts and 20 dollar bills from my wallet onto my desk to dry. My grandmother is in the money laundering business and decided that my wallet needed a good wash along with my pants. Everyone’s grandmother is the same and whether or not they’re actually losing their hearing, they have their way of doing things and nothing you say or do will ever change that. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her to leave my laundry alone. I suppose through doing my laundry she’s staying relevant in my life. I suppose that’s also why some people do their boss’ dry cleaning.
...
I started reading Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami the other day. The book is about a guy, his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. The best friend ends up committing suicide and the guy and girlfriend go their separate ways and move away from the area to get away from the painful memories. Eventually they’re reunited and all the guy thinks about is boning his deceased friend’s girlfriend. At least that’s what I’ve gotten from the book so far. The Japanese are a sick bunch I tell you! I don’t even know why he would want to bone her anyhow. Why do you think his friend committed suicide? Hmm…what a coincidence…
All kidding aside, the book is well written. I think the general theme is about dealing with losses, leaving the past in the past and moving on. The style of writing is similar to the Banana Yamamoto’s book Kitchen and the main character is reminiscent of Holden from Catcher in the Rye.
A good read if you’ve got the time and inclination.
I brought you something close to me...there's nothing to do but believe.
Three of my friends are getting married this year. What a scary thought that is. It’s the thought that we’re all reaching the point in our life that we need to find a permanent partner; that we need to combine and share resources, make large purchases, plan out a family and share a TV. It seems to me as though this may be one of the scariest phases of life. I mean really – share a TV? Goodbye hockey night in Canada. Hello Gilmour Girls. Goodbye Spike TV. Hello the WB.
And in the wake of a major life-altering event like marriage I wonder if I’ll be caught staring like deer in headlights. For 27 years of my life I’ve just been prancing around in the forest grazing and I know one of these days I’ll be nibbling on a twig a little too close to the highway and I’ll look up and see two bright xenon lights burning my beady little eyes. I’m hoping that when the time comes it’ll be quick and painless.
Knowing my luck I’ll be ran over by a 16-wheeler of a woman and dragged behind her truck for a few kilometers. (Of course I’m just being facetious Wanda!)
Some people call me a hopeless romantic.
...
So I’m sitting here laying out the receipts and 20 dollar bills from my wallet onto my desk to dry. My grandmother is in the money laundering business and decided that my wallet needed a good wash along with my pants. Everyone’s grandmother is the same and whether or not they’re actually losing their hearing, they have their way of doing things and nothing you say or do will ever change that. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her to leave my laundry alone. I suppose through doing my laundry she’s staying relevant in my life. I suppose that’s also why some people do their boss’ dry cleaning.
...
I started reading Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami the other day. The book is about a guy, his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. The best friend ends up committing suicide and the guy and girlfriend go their separate ways and move away from the area to get away from the painful memories. Eventually they’re reunited and all the guy thinks about is boning his deceased friend’s girlfriend. At least that’s what I’ve gotten from the book so far. The Japanese are a sick bunch I tell you! I don’t even know why he would want to bone her anyhow. Why do you think his friend committed suicide? Hmm…what a coincidence…
All kidding aside, the book is well written. I think the general theme is about dealing with losses, leaving the past in the past and moving on. The style of writing is similar to the Banana Yamamoto’s book Kitchen and the main character is reminiscent of Holden from Catcher in the Rye.
A good read if you’ve got the time and inclination.
Friday, January 02, 2004
Today's Track : The Cure - Pictures of You
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real...
Has anyone seen the new HP commercial with Pictures of You as the song in the background?...great commercial...the marketing guy who chose the song probably wears mascara and has big-poofy-out-of-control-hair...those crazy marketing guys are so eccentric...
So I'm back from the holidays...and what a great one it was. Spent time with family, friends, and Wanda. The first time in my life that I've had enough money to actually splurge on the people I care about. And splurge I did! I'll be paying off my visa for the next month...can I get a hallelujah for debts?! I also got a few great gifts for xmas. A few books, some dvds, hip-waders for fishing (now for my electronic fish-finder), and of course socks. Apparently sporting my holey socks at social events isn't very attractive so Wanda got me some more. I go through socks like Elizabeth Taylor goes through husbands. Maybe in the upcoming weekends I'll take some pictures with Wanda's new digital camera of me wearing nothing but my new black socks. Mmmmmm...Jolly Good!
Oh...check this out. I emailed my friend today at work and this out-of-office message came back...
-----Original Message-----
From: Ly, Danny [mailto:Danny.Ly@blahblahblah.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 4:14 PM
To: Le, Khiem
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply: poker
Hello,
Merry Christmas and Happy New year
I will be away from the office from Dec 29th to Jan 2nd, returning on the 5th. If you require immediate assistance, please contact Kingswood Poon at 416-302-1959.
I will reply to your email upon my return. Thank you and have a great day.
Regards,
Danny
-----------------------------
Kingswood Poon!! That's a porno name if I ever saw one!! Imagine being born with a porno name!!! "Hi, my name is Khiem Bearded-Clam." Oh my god, imagine this kid's childhood.
I wonder what ethnicity the last name "Poon" actually comes from. I'm guessing it's Asian of some sort. Asian people always have the most unintentionally-vulgar names -- Phuc Hue, Phat Dich, Arthur Wang, Tracy Ho, Sonia Dong. It's bad enough that they have these names but then to have assholes like me make fun of them all their lives, I'd imagine it's quite unbearable. Actually now that I think about it I really feel bad. This will be the last time I make fun of you guys...
For all you single and lonely guys this weekend -- Poon has a new number and it is 416-302-1959. Call this number for a good time.
Have a great weekend everyone!
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real...
Has anyone seen the new HP commercial with Pictures of You as the song in the background?...great commercial...the marketing guy who chose the song probably wears mascara and has big-poofy-out-of-control-hair...those crazy marketing guys are so eccentric...
So I'm back from the holidays...and what a great one it was. Spent time with family, friends, and Wanda. The first time in my life that I've had enough money to actually splurge on the people I care about. And splurge I did! I'll be paying off my visa for the next month...can I get a hallelujah for debts?! I also got a few great gifts for xmas. A few books, some dvds, hip-waders for fishing (now for my electronic fish-finder), and of course socks. Apparently sporting my holey socks at social events isn't very attractive so Wanda got me some more. I go through socks like Elizabeth Taylor goes through husbands. Maybe in the upcoming weekends I'll take some pictures with Wanda's new digital camera of me wearing nothing but my new black socks. Mmmmmm...Jolly Good!
Oh...check this out. I emailed my friend today at work and this out-of-office message came back...
-----Original Message-----
From: Ly, Danny [mailto:Danny.Ly@blahblahblah.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 4:14 PM
To: Le, Khiem
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply: poker
Hello,
Merry Christmas and Happy New year
I will be away from the office from Dec 29th to Jan 2nd, returning on the 5th. If you require immediate assistance, please contact Kingswood Poon at 416-302-1959.
I will reply to your email upon my return. Thank you and have a great day.
Regards,
Danny
-----------------------------
Kingswood Poon!! That's a porno name if I ever saw one!! Imagine being born with a porno name!!! "Hi, my name is Khiem Bearded-Clam." Oh my god, imagine this kid's childhood.
I wonder what ethnicity the last name "Poon" actually comes from. I'm guessing it's Asian of some sort. Asian people always have the most unintentionally-vulgar names -- Phuc Hue, Phat Dich, Arthur Wang, Tracy Ho, Sonia Dong. It's bad enough that they have these names but then to have assholes like me make fun of them all their lives, I'd imagine it's quite unbearable. Actually now that I think about it I really feel bad. This will be the last time I make fun of you guys...
For all you single and lonely guys this weekend -- Poon has a new number and it is 416-302-1959. Call this number for a good time.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Today's Track : Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
Friday at work I found out that my company benefits covers massages up to $500 a year. Boy did that make me one happy little camper. Free stuff always makes me a happy litle camper. I swear if they gave away free anal itch in a bottle, I'd be the first one in line. (Then I'd put some in your drink.)
So I asked around the office to see if anyone had taken advantage of this benefit and whether they could recommend someone to me. My coworker recommended this Russian lady that apparently is really good. I don't know about you but when I think about Russian women, I either think-- a) She's a hot babe like Anna Kournikova; b) a flexible gymnast like Svetlana Boganskaya; or c) a manly lesbian woman with large hands like Martina Navratilova. I'm guessing Tolstoy's book Anna Karenina was either about a hot Russian babe who was really flexible in bed or about a big manly Russian woman who had a stutter. But I digress. (If digression was a big white glove, you'd be slapped silly every time you read this blog.)
Anyhow, I call up this lady during my lunch break.
Me - "Hi can I speak to Miss Tiiu Petrova please?"
Man on the phone in a big burly voice - "This is Tiiu, how can I help you?"
Me - *silence*
Tiiu - "Hello?"
Me - "Um...a coworker of mine recommended you for a massage. Do you have any open appointments for next week?"
Tiiu - "How does Tuesday 7:15pm sound?"
Me - "Ok."
Tiiu - "What's your name?"
Me - "Khiem Le"
Tiiu - "Ok Khiem, we'll see you on Tuesday."
Me - "ok Tiiu. *click*"
So I walk over to my coworker's desk who recommended the masseuse to me.
"I guess you forgot to mention to me that this lady is a big manly lady who's going to break every bone in my body huh?".
My coworker replies, "Well she is quite large and she's got pretty strong hands which is why she's so good at massages!"
"Great, just great. Thanks Julie :@"
So now I have a massage appointment with a very large, manly Russian lady on Tuesday. I'm suddenly reminded of that Mad TV skit where the black guy goes to the massage parlour and is greeted by Jim Carrey dressed up as an ugly white lady in a two piece bikini.
Why god? Why have you forsaken me???
Friday at work I found out that my company benefits covers massages up to $500 a year. Boy did that make me one happy little camper. Free stuff always makes me a happy litle camper. I swear if they gave away free anal itch in a bottle, I'd be the first one in line. (Then I'd put some in your drink.)
So I asked around the office to see if anyone had taken advantage of this benefit and whether they could recommend someone to me. My coworker recommended this Russian lady that apparently is really good. I don't know about you but when I think about Russian women, I either think-- a) She's a hot babe like Anna Kournikova; b) a flexible gymnast like Svetlana Boganskaya; or c) a manly lesbian woman with large hands like Martina Navratilova. I'm guessing Tolstoy's book Anna Karenina was either about a hot Russian babe who was really flexible in bed or about a big manly Russian woman who had a stutter. But I digress. (If digression was a big white glove, you'd be slapped silly every time you read this blog.)
Anyhow, I call up this lady during my lunch break.
Me - "Hi can I speak to Miss Tiiu Petrova please?"
Man on the phone in a big burly voice - "This is Tiiu, how can I help you?"
Me - *silence*
Tiiu - "Hello?"
Me - "Um...a coworker of mine recommended you for a massage. Do you have any open appointments for next week?"
Tiiu - "How does Tuesday 7:15pm sound?"
Me - "Ok."
Tiiu - "What's your name?"
Me - "Khiem Le"
Tiiu - "Ok Khiem, we'll see you on Tuesday."
Me - "ok Tiiu. *click*"
So I walk over to my coworker's desk who recommended the masseuse to me.
"I guess you forgot to mention to me that this lady is a big manly lady who's going to break every bone in my body huh?".
My coworker replies, "Well she is quite large and she's got pretty strong hands which is why she's so good at massages!"
"Great, just great. Thanks Julie :@"
So now I have a massage appointment with a very large, manly Russian lady on Tuesday. I'm suddenly reminded of that Mad TV skit where the black guy goes to the massage parlour and is greeted by Jim Carrey dressed up as an ugly white lady in a two piece bikini.
Why god? Why have you forsaken me???
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Today's Track : The Smiths - The Boy With a Thorn In His Side
Christmas is almost here and you know good spirits are in the air. The whole mood of the season is highly contagious. I wish the entire year was like this. Those scientists need to find a way to package up holiday cheer and good will towards your fellow man in a contagious virus like ebola. Without the bleeding orifices of course. Though the thought of people happily bleeding from their eyes would be quite surreal.
You know as a child, Christmas is a totally different experience than that of an adult. I think the one thing I miss most about the childhood experience is writing letters to Santa Clause and asking him for toys because I was such a good boy all year. Then waking up on Christmas morning and realizing that Santa Claus couldn’t read my writing and mistook “Optimus Prime” for “ugly winter jacket”. I suppose now that I’m older my writing has become a little more readable and concise. I think my letter would go something like this…
Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good man this year. I haven’t been thrown in jail, yet. I’ve drank in moderation the entire year except for my birthday but who doesn’t drink in excess on their birthday? I’m sure you knocked down quite a few egg nogs on your birthday. I’ve been good to my fellow man. The other day I helped my obese friend out by asking her if she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know it now but she’ll thank me later! Her boyfriend has already thanked me.
This year I don’t want too much but here’s a short list of items that I absolutely need…
I know you’ve got a lot of orders to fill this year but hopefully you’ll put mine on the top of your list because my family sure as hella won’t. By the way, “hella” is the new hip word for the young generation. It isn’t at all related “hell” which as you know is one hella bad word!
Oh…careful coming down the chimney this year. I think my dad is storing my pool cue there.
Say hi to foxy Mrs.Claus for me.
Sincerely,
Khiem
Christmas is almost here and you know good spirits are in the air. The whole mood of the season is highly contagious. I wish the entire year was like this. Those scientists need to find a way to package up holiday cheer and good will towards your fellow man in a contagious virus like ebola. Without the bleeding orifices of course. Though the thought of people happily bleeding from their eyes would be quite surreal.
You know as a child, Christmas is a totally different experience than that of an adult. I think the one thing I miss most about the childhood experience is writing letters to Santa Clause and asking him for toys because I was such a good boy all year. Then waking up on Christmas morning and realizing that Santa Claus couldn’t read my writing and mistook “Optimus Prime” for “ugly winter jacket”. I suppose now that I’m older my writing has become a little more readable and concise. I think my letter would go something like this…
Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good man this year. I haven’t been thrown in jail, yet. I’ve drank in moderation the entire year except for my birthday but who doesn’t drink in excess on their birthday? I’m sure you knocked down quite a few egg nogs on your birthday. I’ve been good to my fellow man. The other day I helped my obese friend out by asking her if she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know it now but she’ll thank me later! Her boyfriend has already thanked me.
This year I don’t want too much but here’s a short list of items that I absolutely need…
- A new computer. My current computer is as slow as mole asses and it keeps freezing up on me when I surf for porn.
- A digital camera with video mode. My girlfriend and I are planning to make some home videos and take some “holiday” pictures.
- A new snowboard because my current snowboard keeps injuring me.
- Shoes. You can never have enough shoes.
- The Optimus Prime that you never brought me as a kid.
I know you’ve got a lot of orders to fill this year but hopefully you’ll put mine on the top of your list because my family sure as hella won’t. By the way, “hella” is the new hip word for the young generation. It isn’t at all related “hell” which as you know is one hella bad word!
Oh…careful coming down the chimney this year. I think my dad is storing my pool cue there.
Say hi to foxy Mrs.Claus for me.
Sincerely,
Khiem
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Today's Track : Veruca Salt - Volcano Girls
quote of the week...
To be honest, i don't have those kinds of hopes. I kind of Serendipity my way through these things....
...reminds me of the island of Serendip and the one eyed mule who only ate grass on the left side of the road...
...
MSN perVersion 6.0
Mashi-Melo says:
so are you at home now or are you still at work with the cool break-room-goodies?
Atrayu says:
I'm at home
Atrayu says:
I took the day off to study and run some errands
Mashi-Melo says:
I see. Study? I thought you already did your exam? How'd that go anyway?
Atrayu says:
I postponed it til next week
Mashi-Melo says:
*tsk tsk* what's with that?
Atrayu says:
I'm the world's greatest procrastinator
Mashi-Melo says:
tough spot you're vying for--you're in competition with the likes of ME...
Mashi-Melo says:
I am STILL in my PJs!!!
Atrayu says:
you've got nothing on me...in fact...I've got nothing on me!
Atrayu says:
I'm naked
Mashi-Melo says:
no, I'M naked
Atrayu says:
but then again that has nothing to do with procrastinating
Mashi-Melo says:
hehehe
Mashi-Melo says:
no, no it doesn't, but it's just as fun
Atrayu says:
I'm always naked when I talk to you
Mashi-Melo says:
I'm touched
Atrayu says:
so am I
Mashi-Melo says:
LoL!!
quote of the week...
To be honest, i don't have those kinds of hopes. I kind of Serendipity my way through these things....
...reminds me of the island of Serendip and the one eyed mule who only ate grass on the left side of the road...
...
MSN perVersion 6.0
Mashi-Melo says:
so are you at home now or are you still at work with the cool break-room-goodies?
Atrayu says:
I'm at home
Atrayu says:
I took the day off to study and run some errands
Mashi-Melo says:
I see. Study? I thought you already did your exam? How'd that go anyway?
Atrayu says:
I postponed it til next week
Mashi-Melo says:
*tsk tsk* what's with that?
Atrayu says:
I'm the world's greatest procrastinator
Mashi-Melo says:
tough spot you're vying for--you're in competition with the likes of ME...
Mashi-Melo says:
I am STILL in my PJs!!!
Atrayu says:
you've got nothing on me...in fact...I've got nothing on me!
Atrayu says:
I'm naked
Mashi-Melo says:
no, I'M naked
Atrayu says:
but then again that has nothing to do with procrastinating
Mashi-Melo says:
hehehe
Mashi-Melo says:
no, no it doesn't, but it's just as fun
Atrayu says:
I'm always naked when I talk to you
Mashi-Melo says:
I'm touched
Atrayu says:
so am I
Mashi-Melo says:
LoL!!
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